Relational ways of working
Building Trust, Connection, and Authentic Relationships
As time is given to the understanding of the context and in the building of relationships, this starts to push us into a way of working that is based on collective and collaborative agreements and understandings. This is in comparison to our current default ways of working that are largely based on the assumption that relationships are unilateral or bilateral. This can be most clearly seen in our contracting and employment law contracts. The starting assumption is that there are only two parties.
Relational ways of working place the nature of the relationship as a central consideration of any piece of work and by doing so automatically must recognize all relationships as a multilateral system of relationships. The main aspects of relational work can be captured in the Trust equation:
This equation neatly captures the interplay between:
Credibility: Based on expertise and communication, credibility reflects confidence in what someone says. It's built through demonstrating knowledge and experience, supported by evidence like credentials or past success.
Reliability: Relates to consistent behavior and fulfilling commitments. Actions must align with promises to foster trust.
Authenticity and Vulnerability: Being real, exposed, and vulnerable in interactions. Sharing oneself to build deeper connections. Showing up as you are, reducing masking, and integrating personal reflection. It requires courage to share oneself authentically. Brené Brown connects courage to "cor" (Latin for heart), suggesting it means speaking one's mind by telling all one's heart.
Self-orientation: The denominator of the equation, it measures whether someone prioritizes their interests over others’. High self-orientation erodes trust, while focusing genuinely on others enhances it.
However, this by itself is not enough as what this work requires from those taking part is a set of practices.
Starting with Self
The starting point for relational working is understanding yourself. This involves getting to know your values, beliefs, fears, and aspirations. It also means being aware of how you contribute to relationships and the impact you have on others.
Power, Rank, and Equity
This can be the most difficult aspect of this work. It requires those with higher rank to be aware of this and reveal it to others, being vulnerable in the act of doing so. Cynthia Olmedo defines equity as "allowing you to choose the Music". The power you have could be over:
- Yourself: Control over yourself - wisdom, confidence, awareness
- Groups: Focus, agendas, beliefs, rules, who to include
- Systems: Laws, regulations
Your rank is your 'general' position in society, which will be influenced by many factors, including race, education, disability, income and wealth, language, beliefs, and many more.
Summary
Relational working is about prioritizing human connection, trust, and authentic relationships in all interactions. It means moving beyond purely transactional relationships and recognizing the importance of building strong, lasting bonds with colleagues, partners, and the wider community.