The Dance with Uncertainty

by Matilde Zadig

We worked with a lot of uncertainty in Belong in Plymouth. We probably all knew it wasn’t going to be a linear or a super straightforward process, but nevertheless, uncertainty and complexity can feel really frustrating and difficult.  
A lot of care, compassion and love is needed for colleagues, and for times when we might feel in a challenging place, or who are not feeling like our best selves.
To acknowledge this difficult dance with uncertainty, I’m sharing a reflection about my own relationship with uncertainty and examples of what this has looked like in Belong in Plymouth. Maybe it resonates with you (what is your relationship with the dance of uncertainty?).
If I’m feeling stressed or over capacity
Uncertainty can be super activating for my nervous system. I often will either get stuck, become obsessed with analysing the issue, wanting to solve the problem now, feel super attached to a specific outcome, wanting to be right/good, and generally just feel very tight, tense and narrow. And what adds further to this is that I’ll suddenly remember all the times in my life where I’ve had to deal with intense uncertainty, especially with regards to my most basic needs like housing, finances, safety, health, work, connection, relationships, community, and any big life decisions that have felt overwhelming. In this space, everything feels like too much.

The experience of uncertainty in BIP

• Constantly moving between polarities, a lot of uncertainty and unclarity v.s. some perceived clarity and certainty that soon shifts again (not having enough knowledge or information, which platform/communication do we use, who makes decisions, who gets paid what/when/how).
• Oscillating between doing v.s. being, reflection and action, finding ourselves rushing to then slow down significantly. 
• Realising what sometimes happens when we are too quick to rush to action, or find ourselves stuck in an urgency mindset:
  • We make bad decisions
  • We try to gain (an illusion of) control
  • We want to alleviate our tension 
  • We want to ‘tick something off’ our To Do list, to feel the dopamine reward
  • We’re holding on to expectations of self/others or what we think others are expecting of us. 
  • We/others become stuck in a/certain roles
    When I’m feeling well resourced and supported
    I feel spacious, open, expansive and curious. I’m more able to hold a wider perspective, to hear different views, to relax and let go, and feel more trusting and positive that I/it will be OK. I can notice the push and pull to solve and make changes and decisions, but I have more capacity to stay with the trouble and let the wisdom emerge. If I feel in flow I’m able to enjoy the process of emergence and uncertainty, and recognise that it’s a deep, rich and fertile place full of wisdom.

The experience of working with uncertainty from a more resourced place in BIP

• Realising that when we slow down and have capacity:
  • We can ask for the support and resources that we need. 
  • We invite others to collaborate and invite feedback. 
  • We think through and feel into decisions on a deeper level. 
  • We trust the process. We trust the group and the people. 
  • We move forward together, as slow as needed and as fast as possible.
    What can be helpful (some ideas from Lewis Deep Democracy)
• Compassion (of self and others)
• Support: reaching out for the support you need in order to feel more resourced.
• Mindfulness:** **try and practice self-awareness and collective awareness in the group. 
• Non-judgement – trying to stay open in a “neutral” way, without being attached to a certain outcome.
  Whether you’re feeling stuck or open
  Or oscillating between these two states, it’s all part of the process of us listening to our own bodies, needs and feelings and to come together to figure out a way forward when needed, and build a system of collective support.